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Monday, September 20, 2021

“My 12-year-old does not wish to be round boys”

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QUERY: My 12-year-old daughter thinks that boys should not good, and he or she simply makes girlfriends. We may very well be chargeable for it too as a result of my husband at all times instructed her ‘Steer clear of boys’ ‘boys can damage you’. I wish to change how my daughter thinks. What can I do?

Response by Dr. Ishita Mukerji, Internationally Famend Psychologist

Thanks for writing to us! Dad and mom play a significant function in shaping a toddler’s persona. It will be significant that you simply and your husband realise that each of it’s possible you’ll partially be chargeable for your daughter’s alternative to seek out consolation in being round her feminine peer group. Dad and mom ought to keep away from making a bias in opposition to specific intercourse within the thoughts of their kids as a result of the presence of the other intercourse can’t be eradicated. Somewhat, what dad and mom ought to do is to teach their kids about good contact dangerous contact, making their kids conscious of the co-existence of various sexes, similar to folks from totally different geographical and socio-economic backgrounds. We must always assist them perceive the existence of excellent and dangerous and the best way to recognize the nice and keep away from the dangerous in folks round us. Effectively, it’s by no means too late to make corrections in life. Each you and your husband can surreptitiously begin sharing a optimistic outlook in direction of the male family members and social teams. You can begin with how your husband has added worth to your life. How your brothers (when you’ve got any) or your father or uncles or lecturers or pals from faculty added worth to your life. Equally, your husband may speak concerning the obligations undertaken by good males or the virtues that outline a gentleman. This manner, you’d discover that in case your daughter has developed any bias or insecurity in opposition to her male counterparts, it might slowly get diluted, and he or she would discover the consolation and confidence to hold round with them. Nonetheless, please don’t push her too laborious to alter and permit her to realize her belief naturally.

Have a parenting question to share? Ship it to us at [email protected] and we’ll get it answered by an skilled.

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